And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
