I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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