i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
