Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
