Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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