I just cut my nipple shaving
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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