Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
