I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
