All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
