you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Terrible idea I love it
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
