Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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