apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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