oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
