The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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