Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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