I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
