I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
my liver is dry heaving
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
