Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
