god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
