I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize