Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
