his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
