...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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