I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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