i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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