My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Girls should come with a carfax report
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
