Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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