I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
