shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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