Just fell off a train. Bad.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Couch. On fire.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
