my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
