yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
