people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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