My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
