I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
