im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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