i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
