i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
