the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
