Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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