What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
