I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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