There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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