This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
