He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
