My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
only you would photoshop your dick
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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