I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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