I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
