Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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