Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I FOUND THE LEGS
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
