He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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