It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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