You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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