Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
