I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
