I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
