Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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