Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
