Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
